Saturday, June 05, 2004

Back Home Again....

I'm sitting in a Panera Bread at Jefferson Point in Fort Wayne, IN. Connect info at the bottom.

Wrote the following at an ISM Historic Site earlier today:

"I am sitting quietly, alone, looking into the garden of the Gene Stratton Porter Historic Site, a garden Gene started and was recreated under the last curator’s hard work and guidance. Too late in the year for wildflowers and the songbirds have to compete with motors on boats racing around Sylvan Lake. But the air is still a peaceful one. Clouds in the sky but blue shows through the fluff and even sunshine breaks through for a few moments at a time. My laptop is on a concrete patio table behind the Wildflower Wood Cabin that Gene had built after her Limberlost dried up to the point she could no longer study wetland birds and moths. Chipmunks are scurrying around behind me, and a young rabbit is nibbling away to my left. At least 5 species of birds can be heard in the canopy above…. Most are at mid-level canopy, though as I walked down from the parking lot, past the grave site of Gene and her daughter Jeannette, hawk startled and shot up from the ground to the high canopy.

I’m here because of family. Families motivate individuals within them. In my case they have and continue to motivate me to move on. After only an hour or so today I felt compelled to come to the quiet and heavenly scented place that a woman from a hundred years ago who intrigues me carved from the woods by this lake, albeit a man made lake."

Okay back to the present at the coffee shop. My older boomer brother was the one I had the argument with... amazing how the kid inside us can pop out so easily. It just takes the right trigger. My brother wanted me to defer to him as I would have as a kid unless I wanted "pounded." But as a woman in her late forties no way, no how I'm deferring to anyone! Especially not my stupid fart faced brother. (Sorry guess I'm not acting very mature either.) Anyway... childhood wounds can so easily surface at times. I wonder what our wounds our "cohort" shares and which trips our angry switch in a lot of us. Certainly not the selfish classification that I don't think we deserve. Nor the refusing to grow old with grace crap. Where do they get this stuff? I guess the whole society is just so competitive that many folks have bought into the we have to war with each other mentality. If we are busy fighting with each other we can't put that energy to work positively and concretely. For example... a late-boomer friend, Wes, who runs the Austin group turned me on to Freecycle. Check it out. It is the posted link for this entry. Won't make an entry tomorrow, maybe Monday.

Speed test for wireless (download isn't too shabby):

2004-06-05 19:51:24 EST: 1182 / 355
Your download speed : 1211356 bps, or 1182 kbps.
A 147.8 KB/sec transfer rate.
Your upload speed : 363886 bps, or 355 kbps.

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